Thursday, May 10, 2018

Conversation With My Ex

While I may not want this toxic human being anywhere near my life, I have to admit some of our conversations were hilarious:

Me: Oh my God! 

Him: Yes?

Me: You're not my god.

Him: You have other gods??

Me: Don't worry baby, they mean nothing.

Him: Then why do you have them??

Me: Listen, You are the only one that really counts. Really.

Him: But.... but why do you need the others, aren't I enough? Aren't I god enough for you?

Me: Babe, those other gods are nothing. You are, like, 90% of all I need. A worshiper has other needs             you know.  It's okay if you can't fill them all.

Him: But what can I do to fill that extra 10%? How can I be your ONLY god?

Me: Well, they.... Listen, shut up bitch. This is why spouses beat each other! Ugh!

Him: Yeah, well, you know all those miracles I did for you? I FAKED THEM!

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