Wednesday, April 11, 2018

One Liners with Lou

Here a just few quick little stories of my older son, Luis.

In all of the stories below he is approximately 2 to 3 years old.

Luis, or Little Louie as he was called at the time, was outside playing in the yard with a neighbor girl one hot dusty summer day.  I took a moment to run into the house with his brother.  There I was trying to keep one eye on Louie while slapping a diaper onto his squirming high speed sibling.  As I glance out of the window, I see Louie standing proudly in a superhero pose, hands on hips, legs spread wide.  He is standing right smack in the middle of a particularly bare and dusty part of the yard.  His back is to me, but I can clearly see his chubby little ass because his pants are completely down around his ankles in the dust below.

Shocked, I yell out the window, "Louie!!  What are you doing!?"

Still in pose, he swivels his hips, looks back at me with an expression that can only be described as "woman are you blind?" and answers with the obvious, "I'M PEEING!!" at the top of his lungs and then turns back to go about his business .

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As I was in the midst of a particularly busy time, my brother decided to take his nephew out for some uncle nephew time.  My brother decides that pizza is the way to go.  You just can't go wrong with pizza, right? 

At the pizza place Brother asks, "What kind of pizza do you want?"

Again, clearly wondering why adults so stupid, responds, "Round."

With some amusement Brother says, "Well yeah, but what kind pizza do you want?"

Louie, "Oh Ok.  Red."

Brother ended up ordering pepperoni as it fit all of the previously named criteria.  It went well.

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In a moment of sheer exasperation for I do not remember what, I said to my son, "Jesus Louie!  Why don't you just use your brain?"

Completely serious and somewhat puzzled he answered, "Because Mommy, it doesn't have arms."

God help me.








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