Monday, April 30, 2018
God D*mn You Warner Brothers!
I have violent urges, actually it's kind of more like violent visuals. I admit it. But, I am proud to say that I have yet to act on them. I seriously wonder sometimes if it is only me that thinks, "Oh my God, one more word from this dumbass, just one, and I am going to punch his face right the hell off."
And when I think 'punch his face off" I actually visually see this person's face fly off and land on the ground. Depending on how aggravated I am, it could land face up - which would result in gravel and other detritus getting stuck in the gooey side- or face down, which would be much more pleasant for the victim as they could then pick their face up and stick it back on without gravel and what not getting stuck in there.
I realize this is most likely not normal, possibly even a bit schizophrenic, but as much as I want to punch someone, I don't really want to hurt them. I mean, I want to hurt them, but not real life hurt them. I want to Warner Brothers hurt them. Hit them in the face with a shovel and have their face imprint be on the shovel. Drop a giant boulder on their head and accordian squish them. Smack their face so hard their mouth does a loop around their head twice before settling into a completely wrong place. Squeeze the stupid right out by the neck. You know, THAT kind of hurt.
And after I have done that, I want to be able to say, "Now pick your face the hell up, put that crap back on, and don't be so damn stupid in the future." You have no idea how many times my brain has throat punched the person in front of me, or just slapped the person with the most wicked bitch slap in the back of the brain with the hope of shaking loose just one marble of common sense. I hope I never get some form of dementia that affects my impulse control. I'll be in jail faster than white on processed rice.
But seriously, in the end, you know who is to blame for this insanity? Certainly not me! I blame Warner Brothers. Are you with me? Please tell me I am not the only person who sees this stuff in their head. We should file a class action suit. Damn that Bugs Bunny.