Friday, March 30, 2018

Sex: Suppressed, Repressed, & Depressed

I grew up in a family culture that taught me that sex was.... well... it didn't exist.  Somehow, it was bad.  It was not talked about in any way, shape, or form.  Add to that a sprinkling of trauma and you get a woman (me) with some really weird blank spots in her knowledge base and reactions where sex is concerned.

Thursday, March 29, 2018

Missing Body Parts are No Joke.

Here is an opportunity lost to really mess with one of my kids. Oh the fun I could have had with this:

Many years ago my younger son had to have his gazillionth surgery.  This time around it was endoscopic surgery on his stomach.  His brother and I waited for what felt like a lifetime to hear how things were going.  Eventually, the surgeon came out to tell us we could visit my son in recovery.  So in we went, anxious to see Nico.

Thursday, March 22, 2018

Letting Things Go


1. It's okay to pee in the shower (especially if you're not the one cleaning the bathroom) because:
                       A. Urine is sterile
                       B. It's going to the same place as when you pee in the toilet
                       C. "Hey! I'm saving water. No flushing!"

2. Farting feels GOOD!  Let her rip! (but please, not near me)  Besides, if you do not, you risk:
                       A. Exploding
                       B. Brain damage due to a backup of noxious gases.

3. Blanket Burrito!!!  Who cares how your mom taught you to make the bed?  Pull the blankets out from under the mattress and roll yourself up.  It feels great!  Keep a spare blanket around though in case your bed buddy decides to burrito up before you do.

4. Sometimes smacking a household item IS the fix it needs.

5. Standing up to pee is messy.  Even if you are a man!  The taller the guy, the bigger the mess (they splash more).

6. Sorting laundry is for pussies!  Just chuck it all in there and add detergent.  "It'll all come out in the wash."

7. Face clothes are also for pussies.  Just rub that soap all over your body.  Who cares about the pubic hairs and what not that gets caught in the soap?  Not real men!  That stuff just helps exfoliate your skin the next time around.

8. If you care about exfoliating your skin you might be a pussy.

9. Pussy is an all purpose word.  Cats, body parts, expression of weakness.... it's all good.

10.  Burping in public is better than passing gas in public because, "better the attic than the cellar."

Here's to appreciating the men in your life.   😉

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Overheard Conversations

Settling down to wait, it was the woman who caught my attention.  She was most likely in her 70's, well groomed and thin, almost birdlike with her delicate bones.  Further reinforcing the bird impression were the quick glances all around her environment with her back completely straight and her posture very alert.  She was holding her passport in her hand along with her ticket.  She kept craning her neck to look at passers-by in a searching manner.  Her expression was worried but my impression was that this was normal for her.  I cannot tell you why I had that impression but I did.