Monday, February 5, 2018
Short tales of Lost Minds
I was visiting my mother recently and told her I needed to log in to her wifi. She promptly responded, "I don't have wifi."
Me: "Sure you do. How do you think you use your computer?"
Mom: "I don't have a computer. "
Me: (Seriously confused and wondering if she has lost her mind, I point to her laptop.) "uh... It's right there."
Mom: "TSK. You mean the laptop."
Me: "But that is a... ahem. Yes, sorry. The laptop. How do you think it's getting internet?"
Mom: "Well, I plug it in."
Me: "Yeah, but you're plugging in the electricity. Which, you don't really need to do you know. You have a battery in there."
Mom: (Acting like she totally knew this all along), "Well of course. I just like to plug it in."
Me. "So, do you know your wifi password?" She's clearly becoming more confused. "Nevermind Mom. It's okay. I'll just get it off the router."
Mom: "The what?" I walk her to her TV, show her the cable box and router, and try to explain how each works. I might as well have been talking to the cat because she never got past my first sentence regarding cable.
Mom: (Starting to lose patience with me and getting a little huffy.) "I have cable? I don't have cable."
Me: "Mom, that's how you get your TV shows," I tell her as I am inputting the wifi code from the router into my tablet. "It's okay" I say, "Don't worry. I have the code right here for the wifi."
Mom: "Wait! I have to turn it on first."
Me: "Mom.... it is on.... see the lights blink--- "
Before I can finish, she rushes over to her laptop, flips it open and says, "There. Now it's on."
Me: "Ok, thanks Mom."
Another conversation with my mom, this time over the phone.
Me:"And then..blah blah blah blah---"
Mom: "Hey! Why is my phone beeping?"
Me: "Someone is trying to reach you on the other line."
Mom: "I don't have another line."
Me: "You probably do. It's called 'call waiting'."
Mom: (emphatically) "I do not have another line."
Me: "Well not like way back when, no. But now it comes automatically. It's called-"
Mom: "I only have one line. I don't pay for two. I don't want two. I don't have two."
Mom: "There it goes again. What IS that?"
Me:"Just a weird thing with my phone. Don't worry about it."