Wednesday, January 10, 2018

It's All Fun & Games Until...

Doug has really outdone himself. 

While he is a truly a sweet little man, part of having been the product of a puppy mill means he is a bit "autistic" in that he doesn't do well with reading body language of other animals.  He approaches dogs that clearly exhibit warning behavior and wants to play.  He is also constantly bringing my two cats, Bacon & Eggs, toys and trying to get them to play.  Eggs in particular find this exceptionally upsetting and pretty regularly slashes Doug's face.   More than once he's gotten a scratch to his eye or a bloodied snout.  We've been to the vet before for this, but Doug is Doug and, well, I love him, but even I have to admit he's a wee but dimwitted.   I keep the cat's claws trimmed, but there is only so much I can do when Doug insists on a rousing game of tug of war with his cat brothers or on dropping balls and chew toys on their heads.

Typically, it goes something like this;

bounce, bounce, jump, hop, "Hey guys, wanna play with this cool chew toy?"

Eggs, "um...... piss off?"

Doug, "aw c'mon." Poke, poke, hop, hop

Eggs, "Seriously dude. Fuck. Off."

Doug, "Here. Just grab this toy."

Eggs, slashing out at the speed of light all claws extend, "FUCK. OFF."

Saturday, he got smacked again.  No biggie. It's happened a million and one times before, and not more than a month ago I caught myself telling Doug after yet another play attempt (as if he could understand me);

"Listen Buddy, don't come to me for sympathy.  You don't listen when I say NO KITTIES and you don't take the hint when they smack you.  I'm telling you right now if you lose an eye, I'm not going to be mad at the cat.  I'm going to be mad at you for making  me have to pay a vet to sew your eye shut!"  

Well now don't I feel like a shit?  Sunday the eye didn't look so good.  It was swollen shut and Doug sulked on the couch most of the day.  Monday I got him into the vet and then it all went to hell.  While he seemed better, even opening his eye and showing some spirit, apparently he was not.

Here he is at the vets a mere 5 minutes before his eye actually popped.  I cannot express the level of distress this caused every human in the room.  Doug?  Well, I am sure he wasn't thrilled but he didn't seem nearly as upset as we were.                                                                                                                                                
Off we dashed to Tuft's for emergency care.  We got there in record time and the initial assessment was going well until he hung his head down, increasing pressure in his eye and it began to bleed for real.   I won't go into further disgusting/distressing details, but the final assessment was he had, by that time, lost vision in his eye and attempting to save it would cause him far more pain and discomfort than simply removing it.   

So yesterday my little man had his eye removed.   I am leaving momentarily to go pick him up and have already started on an eye patch for him.  I guess he will just have to be a pirate puppy from now on.  I truly hope he doesn't dive into the role and decide he needs a hook to go with that missing eye.  

I also imagine moms everywhere are feeling fully vindicated after telling decades of children, "It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye."                         

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