Tuesday, January 16, 2018

He's Baaack.....

I found him that sneaky S.O.B.!

The other night I was settling Douglas in (he's healing quite well from his surgery) when I notice that Eggs -who I am keeping a close eye on to make sure he doesn't take out Doug's remaining eye- is staring into the corner of the ceiling.  From where I am standing, there's nothing there.  I'm convinced the cat is batshit crazy.  Or, he's using dirty tactic cat psychology on me and is trying to make ME crazy.

I'd just about gotten settled,
I even had my nice feather quilt juuuuust right when I realize I have to go look and see what the heck is so interesting on the ceiling.  I peer up and who is looking back at me, but my buddy HUGH!!!  Son of Gun.  He is alive.  Or someone who looks like him.  Let's face facts, it's not like I can actually tell one spider from another if they are of the same spider-clan.  Really they should show a little consideration and wear ID tags or something.

I'm feeling kind of happy in a creeped out there's-a-spider-in-my-bedroom sort of way because I was worried just a tiny bit about him.  Hugh's alive and doing well.  Cool.

I lay back down in bed and then I begin to think about what I am feeling.  I'm creeped out by a spider in my bedroom, but not in my bathroom when I am naked?  It's creepier  somehow that he's in my bedroom.  In the shower I can see him.  In bed when I am sleeping how do I know what he's doing?  He could be dropping bug bodies in my mouth for all I know.

I don't want Hugh hanging there.  I just don't.  But I can't squish him.  One because, well, he's HUGH, and two, I have 8 foot ceilings.  I'm tired.  I just don't want to drag a chair in my room for a spider killing.  Then, I'll have to dispose of the body, drag the chair back, probably resettle Douglas.... it's just too much.  I mean, calories.  I'm not going to just throw away all those calories I packed in today on any old task.  I have sleeping to do and dreaming to do.   I tell myself, "Self, don't be a sissy.  It's a bony freaking spider who doesn't even know you exist," and I settle myself down to sleep.

In the morning Hugh is gone.  Damn that spider is a traveler.  I sure hope he didn't drop anything into my open snoring mouth.  <<shudder>>   Later that night while watching TV I happen to glance upwards.  I don't know why I did, maybe I have spidey senses!  And there, in the corner of the living room is a spider that looks suspiciously like Hugh.  When he was my shower buddy, I felt a mild affection for him.   Finding him in my bedroom decreased that a bit.  Now he's in my living room.  I don't want to watch TV with a spider looking over my shoulder.  Especially not with one that seems to be a wanderer.  Now I have to put effort into keeping track of where he is.  I can't do that.  I have a TV to stare at mindlessly.

This morning Hugh was once again missing. I have no idea what room he's lurking in today.  All I know is he better stay missing. I'm coming for you Hugh.  You better keep on moving buddy.

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