Saturday, December 16, 2017

Motion Activated

I had to venture out into humanity today as there's pretty much nothing for food in the house and never mind me, but if I don't feed the cats and dog I suspect I'm going to begin looking yummy soon. And  since I firmly believe my toes and fingers were never meant to be kitty snacks or dog chews,  off I go.  One of my stops was the Dollar Store as I had a few things to pick up there.

At the counter I got lucky and there is only one person in front of me.  So, cool.  The woman ahead of me is about 70 years old.  She suddenly reaches out and gives the display in front of us that has some dumb Christmassy item a rattle and starts laughing.  She looks at me and points to the display and begins laughing harder.  Flicking it she says, "This stupid thing. I bought one of these."

I say, "Uh, that's nice?"

She says, smiling,  "No, it's not.  It took three days to kill that damn thing.  From the minute my husband pulled the strip out of the back it never stopped lighting up."

I nod sagely wondering why the hell she is telling me this. Clearly I am not understanding so she elucidates, "Look.  The label says movement activated."

"Uh...okay?" Why do people talk to me?  It's certainly not my friendly face.  Maybe I need to work harder on the whole resting bitch face thing.

She's laughing harder, "We even put it in a drawer!"

Ok.  Murdering Christmas ornaments.... is...funny.  Alright.  Mental illness?

"Uh.  Wow.  That's rough."

Now she laughs again, "You don't understand.  Look at the label.  It says motion activated."

"Yes, yes it does,"  She can read.  That's good.  "We stuck it in a drawer and every time we checked it, it was still going." I'm afraid she might pee herself she's laughing so much.  Is she having a break down?

"Yes, you said that."  She's laughing again.  The check out lady is watching us.  

I look from the label to the woman....ok?  It dawns on me what has dawned on her.  It's motion activated.  Every time they went near it, it set the thing off.  They even put it in a drawer to stop it, but every time they checked it, it was going off.  They thought it just never stopped.  Ha.  That is kinda funny.

Now I am grinning.   She says to me, "Three damn days.  I can't wait to tell him."

I am glad I ventured into humanity today.  I see I am not the only one who has those moments.  

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